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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Johnny Damon just farted

The question is, in whose general direction? Ian Malone suggests that Damon is sending a middle finger in an easterly direction from Detroit, and past New York. I think Damon farted (or worse) in his own bed.

Poor, poor Johnny Damon couldn’t get a 4th year and another 12 million dollars out of the Red Sox back in 2005. After gushing like a little schoolgirl about how much he loved the fans in Boston and how much he loved playing for the Red Sox, the minute ol’ King George unzipped his wallet, whoosh! He was gone! What exactly did he expect from his former fan base upon his pinstriped return to Fenway? A red carpet from the dugout to centerfield? A bottle of Korbel, a dozen roses, and some decadent chocolates?

Johnny is just mad that he couldn’t get another eleventeen bazillion dollars out of the Yankees again, and that he ended up in Detroit. Yes, he did have 4 good years in New York and even got another ring along the way. He may still have another half decent season or two somewhere in the not too distant future, but most likely it will be with Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Cleveland, Oakland, or, back where it all began for him- Kansas City. If he thinks that the Tigers will make it to the playoffs this year, or that he can get the kind of money he was hoping for from the Yankees, or even the same money he got from Detroit, he needs to do a serious reality check.

First of all, the Detroit Tigers are in 3rd place in the AL Central Division, with a 63-63 W-L record, 9 GB Minnesota and 5.5 GB Chicago. The Tigers are 14.5 GB in the Wild Card race, and would have to surpass the White Sox, Red Sox, and the Rays or Yankees to get into the playoffs. No, Johnny boy, the Tigers aren’t going to the post-season this year.

He’s got a weak arm, too weak for centerfield on a regular basis, especially in any of the more cavernous ball parks around the Major Leagues. His batting numbers have taken a dip across the board from last year. What team wants a DH who hits mostly singles and can’t steal bases anymore?

Had he stayed in Boston for the 3 years that were offered to him, and put up similar numbers he as he did in New York, he just might have gotten that extension, and would have gotten another ring with the Sox, taboot.

Now he’s just an aging journeyman outfielder, he’ll turn 37 in November, when he could have been an everlasting icon of sports achievement in Boston had he stayed with the Red Sox, instead of going from Boston to New York to Detroit to some other baseball netherworld next year.

Some may say he’s flipping a bird at Boston, when all he really wanted was to see the money. We may never really know if Theo really wanted him to help the Sox outfield that has been decimated with injuries, or if he just wanted to keep him from going to New York, or close to Damon’s home in Florida on a contending team.

Tell me, Johnny boy, what exactly did that extra 12 million bucks get you anyways?

And one other thing, lose the mohawk and grow some hair back. That thing makes you look about as cool as a teenager smoking a tobacco cigarette.

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